Monday, March 25, 2013
Mount Everest starts to move.
There's a situation that was placed in my lap several years ago. A situation that I had deemed "Impossible". You know how people say "prayer can move mountains"? Yeah well, this situation is my Mount Everest. So big, that for a while, I completely stopped praying for it. I lost faith. I put God in this box and said "I believe you can do this, but I doubt that you're going to because, who am I?". I didn't realize that God was in the middle of answering that prayer, and even though I was always taught that God does things in His time, and not mine, I gave up hope.
Well, over the past several months, God has shown me that He is working, and today it's like He grabbed onto me to say "Yes, it has taken a REALLY long time, but all these things had to happen before I REALLY start to answer the prayer! This is just the beginning!". Don't get me wrong, I know that this situation is only going to get worse before it gets better, but now I know that God is on my side. What an awesome feeling it is to finally understand that!
I don't claim to be the most spiritual person. I know my walk and talk don't match. I won't make excuses, but I will keep trying to get back to where I should be. Right now I am just so overwhelmed with thankfulness and awe.
This morning, 2 people that I thought would always be standing against me in this battle, are now standing WITH me! Seriously, just thinking about this is making me cry! This in itself is a very specific answer to prayer. I believe this is going to be a major key in turning this situation around. This morning itself has been more than enough proof that God is working, but I know that I still need to do my part. If you're reading this, and if you pray, please, keep me in your prayers! It may be at a snail's pace, but I'm trying to find my way back to God. I've faced condemnation, and I've been spiritually wounded, but I'm trying. That's what God sees :)
I'll post updates as I get them, but I'm warning you now, it has been an emotional roller coaster, and I expect that it will continue to be so. All prayers are needed, and greatly appreciated!!
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Needed to vent.
Ok, so let me first start this by saying one thing. I respect police, I respect what they do, and I respect the law. HOWEVER, there are some police that just make me stupid angry. For example.......
July 14th, 2011. My family and I were on our way back from Colorado, it had been a VERY LOONG drive, and we were still about 6 hours from home. We were crossing into St. Louis, and all the signs said speed limit 60, and even though I was SUPER ready to be home, I was staying in the "60-64" range. On top of this, there was heavy traffic, so I was trying to go with the flow of traffic. So, I look down and check my speed, and my speedometer says I am going about 64, and my gps said the same. I look up and in my rear view mirror and I AM BEING PULLED OVER! Ok, so I pull to the side of the road and the cop comes up along side me, (I am still COMPLETELY baffled and wondering what I had done wrong) So, he says the typical "Do you know why I pulled you over today?" me "No sir, I honestly have no clue" P.O. "You were going 71 in a 60" me (completely dumbfounded) "uh, that's not poss-" P.O "license and registration ma'am". So I give him my stuff and he goes back to his car and comes back a few minutes later hands me a ticket, and has me sign for it and tells me to slow down. By this point I don't even know what to think because #1 I know for a fact I wasn't speeding #2 I was going with the flow of traffic, #3, he was a complete jerk! So, We pull out, and I hand the ticket to my husband (not even bothering to look at it) and he starts reading it and goes "Man, he really did screw you over". me "Well duh." Isaac "no, if he would have put that you were going 70, your ticket would have been 150.00, but since he put that you were going 71, your ticket is 200.00". By that point I'm in tears, and don't even know what to say. I was (and still am) pretty mad about it. So, ffwrd to today. Being a 200.00 ticket mixed with the fact that we don't just have 200.00 lying around, I called to see if I could get an extension, or make a payment plan. To which they tell me "well, we can't do that over the phone. and in order to do that you would have to come in here and talk to a judge" me "well, the problem with this is; I live in tennessee. I can't just "come in there" and talk to a judge" her "well, you can either do that, hire an attorney, or appear in court".
Does anyone else see a problem with this?! Maybe I'm the only one who sees a problem with this but let me just say this; If I had really been speeding, I would have NO PROBLEM WHATSOEVER paying my ticket. But I wasn't! AND he even marked that he hadn't caught me by radar. I am so frustrated. Ugh!
Monday, August 8, 2011
my brain won't shut off...
So, for some reason, my brain doesn't want to go to sleep tonight...I've got lots of things running through my head, and although they aren't bad, I would love to go to sleep....but since I can't, I figured I would at least write (or type) out my thoughts and see if that helps...so, here we go :)
For a really long time my dad has told me that he feels like God has big plans for me, but I never knew what in the world those plans could be...but, I think I am starting to grasp what it COULD be...see, I've always had a place in my heart for kids, and for some reason kids seem to be drawn to me...and I never thought much of it till now...one teenage girl once told me that she wished I was her mom, and though I thought it was very sweet, I also knew there was more to it than that...and it broke my heart. She wished I were her mom because she enjoyed spending time with me, but it wasn't just that. I listened to her. Not just with my ears, but with my heart. I think that is something that a lot of parents have forgotten to do...as parents (I speak for myself as well) our nerves sometimes are so shot,and we get so busy that when our kids need us to listen, we don't. We either blow them off, or we get angry, or we simply don't know how to discuss the topic(s) they want to talk about. I.e, Sex. Yes, I said it...that nasty little 3 letter word...BUT, this is something our kids NEED us to talk about with them! Yes, there is the "right age", but with each child it differs, and the longer you put off talking to them about these things, the less of an opportunity you are going to have. Here's where I am going with this. When parents don't talk to their kids about things like sex, drugs, or alcohol, the kids are going to get curious, and the "right age" to talk to them about these things seems to be getting younger and younger, and younger. It blows my mind to think that there are kids out there that are 12-13 years old that are losing their virginity, or getting into drugs, and alcohol because they are CURIOUS. Seriously, have you seen the number of teenage pregnancies we have in America?! It's heartbreaking! I know that curiosity isn't the only factor here, but still, it is very heartbreaking! Now, I never got into drugs, but I knew enough to know that I never wanted to try them, I also knew enough about alcohol that made me not want to try that either...but sex (yes, there's that nasty 3 letter word again), I didn't know ANYTHING about sex. Not surprising as it is such a taboo topic, but that was the only thing that I was curious about, and ending up pregnant at 18 killed this cats curiosity. Now, I love my parents, and I happen to think that they did a good job raising me, but I was curious...So, here's where I am going with this; it seems to me that I have a Testimony to share with young kids. A testimony that they can relate to, and I think God wants me to share that with them. I'm not saying "God wants me to go into church and talk about sex with kids", I'm saying "I think God wants me to go into church and talk to these kids about the realities of what happens when you aren't Abstinent". You see, for some reason, kids like to talk to me. I can't figure it out, but I'm ok with that, because as long as they are talking to me, that means they are atleast talking to someone. Of course, if they ask me about these taboo topics, I refer them back to their parents because I believe there are some boundaries that shouldn't be crossed. So, all that being said...I want to start a class...I want to be someone that these kids can talk to (someone their parents know, and trust), and someone that they trust as well. I would like to teach these kids that it is PERFECTLY OK to wait! Teach them to respect themselves, and feel good about NOT having sex! The question is, where do I start? I know I need to get involved in a church first, and then find a lesson plan (i'm sure they are out there)...I really think this is what God wants me to do, and I am excited to find out...but I am going to need a lot of prayer because in order to put this plan into action, there's a few things I need to do first...#1 would be; get back into church........this life I live is bound to get crazy, but I'm holdin on for what I expect to be an amazing ride! :) feedback is appreciated, but not a must...
For a really long time my dad has told me that he feels like God has big plans for me, but I never knew what in the world those plans could be...but, I think I am starting to grasp what it COULD be...see, I've always had a place in my heart for kids, and for some reason kids seem to be drawn to me...and I never thought much of it till now...one teenage girl once told me that she wished I was her mom, and though I thought it was very sweet, I also knew there was more to it than that...and it broke my heart. She wished I were her mom because she enjoyed spending time with me, but it wasn't just that. I listened to her. Not just with my ears, but with my heart. I think that is something that a lot of parents have forgotten to do...as parents (I speak for myself as well) our nerves sometimes are so shot,and we get so busy that when our kids need us to listen, we don't. We either blow them off, or we get angry, or we simply don't know how to discuss the topic(s) they want to talk about. I.e, Sex. Yes, I said it...that nasty little 3 letter word...BUT, this is something our kids NEED us to talk about with them! Yes, there is the "right age", but with each child it differs, and the longer you put off talking to them about these things, the less of an opportunity you are going to have. Here's where I am going with this. When parents don't talk to their kids about things like sex, drugs, or alcohol, the kids are going to get curious, and the "right age" to talk to them about these things seems to be getting younger and younger, and younger. It blows my mind to think that there are kids out there that are 12-13 years old that are losing their virginity, or getting into drugs, and alcohol because they are CURIOUS. Seriously, have you seen the number of teenage pregnancies we have in America?! It's heartbreaking! I know that curiosity isn't the only factor here, but still, it is very heartbreaking! Now, I never got into drugs, but I knew enough to know that I never wanted to try them, I also knew enough about alcohol that made me not want to try that either...but sex (yes, there's that nasty 3 letter word again), I didn't know ANYTHING about sex. Not surprising as it is such a taboo topic, but that was the only thing that I was curious about, and ending up pregnant at 18 killed this cats curiosity. Now, I love my parents, and I happen to think that they did a good job raising me, but I was curious...So, here's where I am going with this; it seems to me that I have a Testimony to share with young kids. A testimony that they can relate to, and I think God wants me to share that with them. I'm not saying "God wants me to go into church and talk about sex with kids", I'm saying "I think God wants me to go into church and talk to these kids about the realities of what happens when you aren't Abstinent". You see, for some reason, kids like to talk to me. I can't figure it out, but I'm ok with that, because as long as they are talking to me, that means they are atleast talking to someone. Of course, if they ask me about these taboo topics, I refer them back to their parents because I believe there are some boundaries that shouldn't be crossed. So, all that being said...I want to start a class...I want to be someone that these kids can talk to (someone their parents know, and trust), and someone that they trust as well. I would like to teach these kids that it is PERFECTLY OK to wait! Teach them to respect themselves, and feel good about NOT having sex! The question is, where do I start? I know I need to get involved in a church first, and then find a lesson plan (i'm sure they are out there)...I really think this is what God wants me to do, and I am excited to find out...but I am going to need a lot of prayer because in order to put this plan into action, there's a few things I need to do first...#1 would be; get back into church........this life I live is bound to get crazy, but I'm holdin on for what I expect to be an amazing ride! :) feedback is appreciated, but not a must...
Friday, March 18, 2011
I'm ready...
I'm ready for a lot of things right now...spring and the warm weather it brings, time with my family (immediate and extended), change, bbqs, picnics, I am so ready! But, the main thing I am ready for is having my husband home. Plain and simple; I miss him. Yes, I am enjoying it with my kids, but there's just something about experiencing spring with your significant other...it's like watching mother nature give birth! So exciting!! All the beautiful plants are coming to life, animals are coming out of hibernation, it's beautiful! Then you add on all the beautiful weather that comes with it, and you find yourself outside more, you're filling your lungs with fresh air, and when you're inside you find it hard to keep the windows closed! Then comes all the fun things you get to do outside; blowing bubbles with the kids, planting a garden, walks around your neighborhood, and you're probably even saving moeny on your electric bill because you can finally turn your furnace off at night... But, this year I feel like I am only experiencing half of it...being this far away from my other half is pretty frustrating right now...and I'm not trying to sound all "woe is me", I think most military spouses feel this way about a lot of things...deployments just do that to you...I am thankful for what we have,and though it's not much, it's plenty for us! We have love, good friends, and awesome family and I am sooooo ready for my husband to be home to enjoy all this with us...Babe, I can't wait to give you a big hug and a big ol' kiss! This life I live (though incomplete without my hubby), is ready to take on the world...well, atleast for today :)
Sunday, March 6, 2011
I am now a blogger....
Welcome to my blog!! I've never blogged before, but I'm hoping that this will be an outlet for me to get away from the realities of my day to day life...although my lifeis pretty good, let's face it; we all need to get away every once in a while...
A little about me: I am a 26 year old ARMY Wife , and the mother of 2 awesome kids :) I love my life, and everyone in it...I have an awesome family...whether it's immediate family, or extended...I would say "in-law", but I am lucky enough that even the family I married into is just that; my family :)
Things the I enjoy doing, are spending time with my family and friends (obviously), cooking, baking/ cake decorating, reading, listening to music, traveling, and you might think I'm nuts, but I love to clean...it's a great stress reliever...
Born with a "heart condition" that required Open Heart Surgery at 5 months old, I eventually passed that on to my son who required a minor surgery at the age of 3, but thankfully my daughter didn't need the same :)
I was also born into a Christian family, and I am the daughter of a preacher. That's right, I'm a PK. Not all things you hear about PKs are true though...ie; I'm not a partier, I've never smoked or done any drugs, and I think alcohol tastes disgusting. Also, being a PK is in no way an easy thing. You are held on a higher pedestal than everyone else, and the second you mess up everyone knows about it. Sometimes they even know about the things you do before you even do them...it's pretty amazing really...one thing to keep in mind though: PKs are just as prone to messing up as anyone else...we may try to avoid it, but the reality is; We are still human...just because we are born into a Pastor's family doesn't give us the super powers to avoid messing up all together....lol but that is definitely not a bad thing...I've messed up, I've made mistakes, and those mistakes hurt not only me, but the people around me. Those mistakes have taught me a lot though, and they have helped shape me into who I am today...and, I don't think I am that horrible of a person :)~
Although I was raised as a PK, I got pregnant at the age of 18, and at 19 gave birth to Gabriel Micah. This 7lb 5 oz baby boy changed my life forever. I wasn't married, and I never married my son's father, but I believe that was for the best. I was a single mom for 5 years before I met my husband Isaac. I didn't single parent completely alone though, I had the help of my parents, and I am extremely thankful for that!
I met my husband Isaac through a friend/over the internet. I lived in Wyoming, he lived here. It was an instant connection, and this 5' 05'' skater from New York stole my heart...it was 8 months until we finally met in person, but we have been together ever since! We got married in 2009, and in February of 2010 we gave birth to our beautiful baby girl Jasmine Hannah...this 7lb 13oz baby girl has had her daddy wrapped around her finger ever since :) this was love at first sight :)
My husband is my best friend. We have been through a lot, and he is the one person that I tell everything. He is the shoulder I cry on, and the one person who knows me probably better than I know myself...his voice makes me smile, and the rythm of his heart is my favorite lulaby...he is my person :D
Through my life there have been ups and downs, and just like any other human being I have messed up. I have made mistakes, and hurt the people I love. BUT, I am thankful that I have a Loving God that loves me all the same. He has forgiven my mistakes, and loved me through them. He is showing me the person He wants me to be. During the 5 years that I was a single parent, I had my heart broken, and lost sight of the person I use to be. I became selfish, bitter and angry. I couldn't understand how I could put my heart into everything just to have it trampled on. But, I am a happier person these days, and I'm rediscovering who I was BEFORE I ever had my heart broken! I am rediscovering compassion, humility, trust,and forgiveness. This life i live isn't perfect, but it's blessed!
I hope you have enjoyed reading this, and I hope you will leave feedback!
Love, Joy
A little about me: I am a 26 year old ARMY Wife , and the mother of 2 awesome kids :) I love my life, and everyone in it...I have an awesome family...whether it's immediate family, or extended...I would say "in-law", but I am lucky enough that even the family I married into is just that; my family :)
Things the I enjoy doing, are spending time with my family and friends (obviously), cooking, baking/ cake decorating, reading, listening to music, traveling, and you might think I'm nuts, but I love to clean...it's a great stress reliever...
Born with a "heart condition" that required Open Heart Surgery at 5 months old, I eventually passed that on to my son who required a minor surgery at the age of 3, but thankfully my daughter didn't need the same :)
I was also born into a Christian family, and I am the daughter of a preacher. That's right, I'm a PK. Not all things you hear about PKs are true though...ie; I'm not a partier, I've never smoked or done any drugs, and I think alcohol tastes disgusting. Also, being a PK is in no way an easy thing. You are held on a higher pedestal than everyone else, and the second you mess up everyone knows about it. Sometimes they even know about the things you do before you even do them...it's pretty amazing really...one thing to keep in mind though: PKs are just as prone to messing up as anyone else...we may try to avoid it, but the reality is; We are still human...just because we are born into a Pastor's family doesn't give us the super powers to avoid messing up all together....lol but that is definitely not a bad thing...I've messed up, I've made mistakes, and those mistakes hurt not only me, but the people around me. Those mistakes have taught me a lot though, and they have helped shape me into who I am today...and, I don't think I am that horrible of a person :)~
Although I was raised as a PK, I got pregnant at the age of 18, and at 19 gave birth to Gabriel Micah. This 7lb 5 oz baby boy changed my life forever. I wasn't married, and I never married my son's father, but I believe that was for the best. I was a single mom for 5 years before I met my husband Isaac. I didn't single parent completely alone though, I had the help of my parents, and I am extremely thankful for that!
I met my husband Isaac through a friend/over the internet. I lived in Wyoming, he lived here. It was an instant connection, and this 5' 05'' skater from New York stole my heart...it was 8 months until we finally met in person, but we have been together ever since! We got married in 2009, and in February of 2010 we gave birth to our beautiful baby girl Jasmine Hannah...this 7lb 13oz baby girl has had her daddy wrapped around her finger ever since :) this was love at first sight :)
My husband is my best friend. We have been through a lot, and he is the one person that I tell everything. He is the shoulder I cry on, and the one person who knows me probably better than I know myself...his voice makes me smile, and the rythm of his heart is my favorite lulaby...he is my person :D
Through my life there have been ups and downs, and just like any other human being I have messed up. I have made mistakes, and hurt the people I love. BUT, I am thankful that I have a Loving God that loves me all the same. He has forgiven my mistakes, and loved me through them. He is showing me the person He wants me to be. During the 5 years that I was a single parent, I had my heart broken, and lost sight of the person I use to be. I became selfish, bitter and angry. I couldn't understand how I could put my heart into everything just to have it trampled on. But, I am a happier person these days, and I'm rediscovering who I was BEFORE I ever had my heart broken! I am rediscovering compassion, humility, trust,and forgiveness. This life i live isn't perfect, but it's blessed!
I hope you have enjoyed reading this, and I hope you will leave feedback!
Love, Joy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)